Take My Wife...Please!

Alright, readers it's confession time. I've recently done some internet stalking. No, I don't mean following some poor person's every (on-line) move. I stay away from Facebook like the plague. I don't want to share my personal activities and status with every person with whom I may have had a two minute conversation over the past twenty years. I also don't want to be tempted to obsessively spy on various acquaintances from the past.

If I'm going to share my opinions and personal experiences, it's going to be about law school and it's going to be anonymous!

In any event, back to my confession. Despite my best attempts to stay away from the social networking wasteland, Google still offers it's own temptations for internet "sleuthing". Recently, I decided to Google a girl from my past.

We had a somewhat bizarre but meaningful relationship during college. I think at one point we both were under the impression that we would eventually wed. As it turned out, we had a number of differences that would probably make a successful marriage impossible. We ended the relationship on pretty good terms and actually remained close friends for a couple more years. Busy schedules and geographic barriers eventually caused us to fall out of touch.

I'll admit I had Googled her in the past, but this time I added her middle name. Sure enough, it pulled up an archived web page from her local newspaper announcing her marriage to another man a few years ago. Readers, perhaps you'll permit me a slight bit of jealousy. It's not particularly becoming, but it's human nature. Nonetheless, it would be unreasonable and cruel of me to neither expect nor want an attractive, nice, traditionally minded girl to get married relatively early in life.

Unfortunately, my unease grew a bit as I continued reading about the nuptials. It turned out they got married quite soon after we fell out of communication. Ouch. The gentleman she married was about a decade older than her, which struck me as particularly bizarre and unnerving for some reason. But here's the kicker (and why I'm posting this anecdote on this blog), her groom's profession: Attorney.

Nice. Fortunately, it doesn't appear that he's some hotshot big (or even mid) law associate or partner. Otherwise, I think I would have literally morphed into a green eyed monster. (No, I'm not proud of myself, readers.) It appears that he's a solo practitioner in a smaller community, but even so, this wasn't exactly the news I wanted to hear.

So, essentially this guy is married and romancing the woman I once thought I was going to marry while supporting both of them with the career I once thought I wanted and invested so much into securing. Hey, while you're taking things off my hands, buddy, I have about six figures of student debt which is yours for the asking!

Putting my ignobly jealous rant aside, I think you can tell I'm an unemployed law graduate when I actually considered sending him the following e-mail.

Dear Attorney X,

You do not know me. I at one point, however, was in a relationship with your wife, Mrs. X. Recently, I was electronically stalking her and learned that the two of you were married within the past few years. Congratulations. After stalking both you a little bit more, I learned that you are an attorney. I too have been recently been admitted into this profession, and I am looking to break into small firm practice. Do you have any advice for me or contacts with whom you can put me in touch?

Thanks for your attention to this matter (and not seeking a restraining order).

Sincerely,

Esq. Never...Unless you have some good contacts


Remember, kids, never pass up an opportunity for networking and getting your name out there!

NB: Most of this post is written tongue in cheek. I do not honestly believe either of them owe me anything or have taken anything from me. I wish the happy couple the best. Now back to my regularly scheduled life of being unemployed and living at home with my parents.